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Benefitting From The Silence

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As you’ve probably noticed, it’s a noisy world. All our technology helps ensure we’re never sitting in silence. But experts advise that may not be the best thing for us. Silence and solitude have been shown to improve our physical and mental wellbeing. And gaining the benefits of silence in our lives really isn’t that difficult.
Researchers found that even a quiet walk in a park can stimulate brain growth in the hippocampus, leading to better memory. They found that three walks per week of forty minutes were enough to stimulate such growth.

The noise of our lives has a measurable effect on our brains. Sounds we hear cause our bodies to react, stimulating the release of stress hormones. Silence has the opposite effect. One study found silence could reduce tension after just two minutes. The silence was more relaxing than music, helping lower blood pressure and improving blood circulation in the brain. Silence has also been shown to benefit the body’s immune systems, reduce plaque formation in arteries and help fight insomnia.

So how do you reduce the noise in your life? It starts with a conscious choice to seek the silence. You need to put away the tech devices, escape from the demands of family, friends, and work.  Instead find silence, even if only in small bites of quiet time.

One easy way is to get outside in nature and take a walk. If you want to walk with someone else, that’s fine, but just agree that at least part of the walk will be in mutual silence. You might also start off your day with a five-minute delay in getting out of bed. Use the time to awaken slowly, enjoy the early morning quiet, and think warm, pleasant thoughts rather than rushing into the worries and pressures of the day.

Another simple way to focus on silence is with deep breathing exercises during the day. Focusing on your breathing, even for just a minute or two, can help calm your mind and shut out the noises of the world.
Meditation is another path to silence for many. Whether you teach yourself, use an online app or take a class, it can help you silently focus on your thoughts. Silence may seem hard to find at times, but putting some silence in your life can bring you considerable benefits.

CounselingWorks provides family Christian counseling on an affordable sliding fee scale. Contact us to schedule an appointment.

This article is provided by the American Counseling Association. Visit the ACA website at www.counseling.org.

Are You Ready To Help A Friend?

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Humans beings are just naturally social creatures, some of us more so than others. Most of us enjoy our interactions with others, sharing thoughts and happenings and learning from our friends. While many of the relationships we have are fairly casual, there are other “close” associations that matter because they’re with people we truly care about. These might be work associates, neighbors, relatives or a spouse or relationship, partner. They’re relationships we value but are also relationships that can pose problems when we see something wrong.

Regardless of how much we think of, or care about, someone close to us, there may be times when we find something troubling or disturbing about that person. At such times we may agonize over whether we should share our opinion or observations, realizing that doing so might jeopardize the relationship. It can be a difficult decision to make even when the person in question is a spouse or other close relative.

While we all want to avoid losing a close friend, we also want to be responsible and to offer the help we think is needed. There’s no foolproof way to pass on our concerns but there are ways to approach delicate subjects that minimize the risk of losing a friend. One way is to use what’s sometimes called a “caring confrontation” or a “one-two” approach. This begins by having the conversation in a private place and just between the two of you.

Part one is simply describing in an objective, non-judgmental way what you have observed. You might use positive statements like, “You don’t seem as happy lately. Am I right?,” rather than saying, “You sure are depressed these days.”

Part “two” of this approach is to question whether your friend feels your observation is accurate. Is what you stated representative of things not going well? If your friend agrees that there’s something wrong, the next step is to offer an invitation to discuss it. The idea is not to position yourself as an authority trying to “fix” the issue. Sometimes simply giving someone an opportunity to discuss what’s wrong can be very helpful. If you think a professional could help, you might make that observation in a positive way. The point is not to be confrontational, but rather to give your friend the support and encouragement needed to find help and return to a more happy, positive life.

 

CounselingWorks provides family Christian counseling on an affordable sliding fee scale. Contact us to schedule an appointment.

This article is provided by the American Counseling Association. Visit the ACA website at www.counseling.org.

Balancing Aging Parents And Family Demands

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Today more of us are living longer. The changes we’ve seen in people’s lifestyles, along with improved health care, have meant that living into our 80s and 90s are becoming more common.
That’s the good news, but these longer life spans can also represent additional burdens for many families. Although Dad and Mom may be looking forward to their 85th birthdays, they may not be in the same shape as they were in years past. They may have increased health issues, can no longer be as independent as they once were, and may be making, out of necessity, more demands on younger family members.

While most of us want to be as supportive as possible to the seniors in our families, there can be times when the needs of elderly parents are demanding too high a price from their children. There are no easy answers to such situations, but there are some actions that might help.

Balancing Aging Parents And Family Demands

A first step is trying to determine if the needs of an aging parent are real, or are they simply demands being made because he or she feels you “owe” help when and where it is desired? If some such demands don’t seem to have a legitimate basis, having a sincere heart to heart about the stress and problems these demands are causing you is a step that should be taken. You might also want to look for other sources of help. Are there siblings who might be able to lend a hand? Even siblings or other relatives far away may surprise you with offers of unexpected aid.

It’s also worth exploring non-family help that may exist in the area. Neighbors and friends, when made aware of the problem, may be eager to offer some help and reduce your burden. Similarly, most towns have services for the elderly that might be able to aid with transportation and recreation needs.

Managing your time well is also important. Rather than simply being available on demand, you can create a schedule with an aging parent to cover small chores like shopping or bill paying. It’s natural to want to provide needed help as parents become older and less capable, but it’s also important to be realistic and reasonable in how much assistance you can give. When you exceed your limits you can end up with negative results for yourself, your family and that aging parent.