Author: admin

The Fruits of the Spirit: Some Considerations for Christians who are Counselors

Posted on | by admin

The Fruits of the Spirit: Some Considerations for Christians who are Counselors

The individual views expressed in this particular article are based on the work and worldview of the writer and do not represent the general beliefs of every ChristianWorks staff member or counselor.

I have spent quite some time thinking about what it means to be both a counselor and a Christian and what that looks like in practice. It is a topic that courses through my brain cells literally every day since I began training as a professional counselor. Goodness–even before then, probably. I am perpetually considering how my counseling practice is informed and impacted by my Christian faith—and, of course, what that means for my clients.

Throughout my time in the mental health field, I have had the privilege of gaining powerful insights from mentors and supervisors who have been willing to engage in this topic with me. They have challenged me to consider how my personal views on topics such as death, salvation, worship, marriage, and family life show up both covertly and overtly in the counseling room. Through these practices, I have come to determine that an examination of our worldviews and how they relate to our counseling work is incredibly important.

How does what I believe about *insert topic here* shape my work? As counselors, we should be asking ourselves this question as often and easily as we reflect feelings during a session.

You and I could chat for days upon days about the intersection of theology and psychology and the implications of such. And I would thoroughly enjoy the conversation!

But ultimately, I think one of the major things that counseling-as-a-Christian comes down to is the representation of the fruits of the Spirit.

These are the foundational points that I have come to for my own practice:

  1. We are people of the Spirit (Galatians 5:25)
  2. As such, the fruits of the Spirit should be evident in all that we do (Galatians 5). That does not exclude the counseling room. (Galatians 5:23).
  3. We are people who believe in a God who is able to do more than we are able to imagine (Ephesians 3:20). We are never alone.

But do I really act like these truths are just that: true?

Allow me to share with you some ways I think the Spirit’s fruits can be evident in the counseling room when we are showing up to work as people of God.

Love

Galatians 5:13 “Through love serve one another.”

As Christians, we are meant to be servants driven by love for God and each other. As counselors, this is displayed by our service to the greater community by helping individuals, children, couples, and families process hurts and pursue individual goals.

As an Adlerian-leaning therapist, I am reminded of one of the components of Adler’s theory of Individual Psychology: Social Interest. Social interest is just that: “a feeling of cooperation with people, the sense of belonging to and participating in the common good” [1].

When we serve through love as counselors, we operate with selflessness and give attention to the needs of others to help them better operate in their social and familial environments. We serve the individual, but also the community at large.

Joy

As disciples of Christ we understand that joy differs from happiness in that it is not conditional on external circumstances, but on an internal “peace that passes understanding” (Philippians 4:7).

This does not mean we exude a façade of toxic optimism in the counseling room, but that the balance of our own emotional stability is not based solely on the ups and downs of life.

This kind of joy, in my opinion, is an antidote to burnout for Christians who are counselors.

Some weeks in the therapy room are incredibly hard. They are often triggering to our own hurts and can stir up anguish for us long after the client has left the building.

But with God, we are able to both mourn and celebrate with our clients in a single day, knowing that the battle for our souls is already won, and the traumas and hardships of this life do not define the end of any story.

“The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).

“For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime; weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5).

Peace

A peaceful presence in the counseling room is more than just appearing calm.

I like to think about my micro-interactions with clients over the grand scale of the counseling relationship.

Do I appear scattered and unorganized in managing administrative tasks, or do I offer a comfortable experience for my clients that make them feel safe in their dealings with me?

A quick Google search of the definition of the word “peace” describes it as “free from disturbance.” As a counselor, the peace I receive from the Lord is exuded in the way I handle myself from the beginning to the end of my time with a client.

As for my own personal peace, I remember that “He who is in you is greater than He who is in the world” (I John 4:4), and

“The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

With the supernatural kind of peace we have from Christ, we are able to offer a peaceful counseling experience to our clients.

Patience

You already know that counseling is often very slow work. It requires a kind of patience that is biblically described as “longsuffering” (Ephesians 4:2;).

As an ethical and effective counselor providing empathy to a client, longsuffering is to be expected. You will second-handedly experience many of the emotions your client is daily experiencing, because you have elected to be a safe haven into which those emotions can pour.

The Lord, who is all-powerful and all-knowing and holy, is patient with us as he longsuffers through our obvious human-ness and sin.

We, however, are called as counselors to be patient with other humans through their human-ness while we likewise, behind other doors, wrestle with our own human-ness and the effects of a fallen world on our

lives. We do not claim to be all-knowing or all-powerful. Instead, we share in the longsuffering as best as we can with the help of God himself, who has for generations shown patience with his people.

The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but should all come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9).

Kindness

Is it just me, or do all of the fruits of the Spirit begin to feel like they are overlapping? Kindness seems to meld together with goodness and patience so well that I begin to have a hard time differentiating between them all if I think about it too much.

But maybe that is the point. I like to imagine that God’s nature is only so much describable to the human brain using human language. One day in glory when we will see his nature fully, it will all make sense.

Until then,

“as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone” (Galatians 6:10).

and

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” Ephesians 4:32).

Goodness

Let us often recall that every individual who steps into our counseling spaces is a person created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-17).

We know that after creating the earth and its inhabitants, God called it all “very good” (Genesis 1:31).

And while not every thought or action or reaction of an image-bearer is “good” or holy, I believe that at the core of who we are, God has placed his likeness—and with that, a desire to seek to know Him and reflect back to Him the goodness that he created from the beginning (Romans 2:19-20).

I think that a major part of my role as a counselor is to reflect the goodness of Christ toward my clients so that His goodness within them is sparked. I would hope that, despite my many flaws, that each person I meet recognizes the Christ in me, even if they do not have words to name the attributes as that just yet.

Goodness is contagious because goodness comes from God. May our work in the counseling room activate the goodness in our clients and their recognition of their status of image-bearers in this fallen world.

Faithfulness

In the book of Daniel when Daniel and his buddies are facing a deadly fiery furnace, Daniel proclaims that he has faith that the Lord will deliver them. But then he completes his statement by saying, “and if not, He is still good” (Daniel 3:18).

He is still good.

When I feel completely helpless during a client emergency. When my own life feels out of order and I am still showing up to provide care to the people who have hired me. When there is an international pandemic and resulting mental health crisis.

He is still good.

At the most difficult times we face as professionals in the helping field, we must continue to remember that God is faithful in his protection (Proverbs 2:8), mercy (Psalm 40:11), and renewed compassion (Lamentations 3:22-23) for us. Moreover, He is all of these things to my clients, as well.

Our faithfulness is displayed in our ability to renew compassion for our clients as the Lord renews compassion for us. Renewed hope, renewed mercies, and renewed fruits of the Spirit when they despair.

Gentleness

Gentleness does not mean that you lack assertiveness or clear boundaries with a client or in the workplace. It means that you are able to employ boundaries and hard truths with an element of softness and understanding. You are respectful of other image-bearers in your dealings with them.

Phil 4:5 “Let your gentleness be known to all; the Lord is near.”

Titus 3:2 “Slander no one, be peaceable and considerate, and be always gentle to everyone.”

Self-Control

Self-control in the counseling room could look different for everyone. I tend to think that it is much more than stifling a yawn or holding back an eye-roll (though if I must say, a well-placed eye-roll in certain contexts can be a powerful response if done well).

But usually, self-control–if you ask me–is related to fear.

When I am fearful that I am not a “good enough” counselor I am more likely to take on too many clients during hours I had previously chosen to hold open for spending time at home with my family. Then I am not serving anyone well. I become burnt out and bitter, and both my professional life and personal life are impacted.

When I am fearful a client is not moving quickly enough toward goals, maybe I talk too much in a session instead of trusting the process of the client’s own journey. I forget to listen well.

When I am fearful of what my coworkers think of me, I have a tendency to act differently around them instead of speaking boldly and confidently on a topic I am passionate about.

See? Fear is a powerful motivator. It is impulsive. But self-control slows us down. It requires placing trust in our creator who is the most Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6).

We are people of the spirit. We are not alone. And whenever a tricky parallel process or client crisis derails our day, we can slow down and lean into the skills we have been taught. We can call a professional peer to consult with them. And always, we can remember that

“God gave us not a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7).

References:

1. American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Adlerian psychotherapy. American Psychological Association. Retrieved February 15, 2023, from https://www.apa.org/pubs/books/4317437

2. Keller, T. (2004). Four Models of counseling in Pastoral Ministry. Retrieved February 16, 2023, from https://c4265878.ssl.cf2.rackcdn.com/redeemer.1709191425.Four_Models_of_Counseling_in_Pastoral_Ministry.pdf

3. Loy, J. (2021, March 3). Four models of Christian Counseling (#1 & #2). New Ground Counseling. Retrieved February 16, 2023, from https://www.newgroundcounseling.com/blog/2021/3/4/four-models-of-christian-counseling

4. Loy, J. (2022, July 25). Why use spiritual disciplines in therapy? New Ground Counseling. Retrieved February 16, 2023, from https://www.newgroundcounseling.com/blog/2022/7/25/why-involve-the-spiritual-disciplines-in-counseling

Gatekeeping for Faith Leaders, Part 2

Posted on | by admin

Gatekeeping for Faith Leaders, Part 2:

What is my role after I refer someone to counseling?

Hello, friends and faith leaders! If you have somehow stumbled upon this article and wonder what exactly a gatekeeper is, I encourage you to read Part 1 of this series, How do I know when to refer someone to counseling? Further, stay tuned for Part 3 that will more fully cover the topic of Safety assessments.

________________________________

Maybe since the last time we chatted, you have referred a person in your faith community to mental health services.

Nice! Chances are, a therapist has probably referred a client to a faith leader, as well.

I am certainly hopeful that our revolving-door imagery has helped you imagine how beautiful the symbiotic relationship between faith and mental health communities can be.

And the thing about revolving doors is this: they don’t slam shut. Your role in supporting someone that you have referred to counseling continues.

Here are a few points to remember as you navigate a shifting, yet still supportive, role for someone you have referred to counseling:

1. Help the person continue to develop social supports within their faith community. Remember that you are not working in a vacuum; you have an entire faith community at hand for this person to become connected with. Introduce the person to groups of people in their life stage, or with similar ministry interests.

While the individual may not necessarily want to share all the details of their counseling and healing journey with other members of the congregation, it is highly valuable to help them connect to a sense of social interest. (Read more here about the meaning and impact of social interest on a person’s healing journey).

2. Avoid being a stand-in mental health therapist. Part 1 of this series covers this topic more thoroughly. Remember to practice within your competency as you seek to support this individual in the context of pastoral counseling. Your job, as incredibly important as it is, is not to diagnose or treat mental disorders. Please continue providing wise counsel from a spiritual and religious perspective. However, do not seek to replace the role of a mental health counselor if you have not been trained to do so. Remind the person where your boundaries lie if they refuse to seek mental health support.

3. Honor their confidentiality. In your attempts to connect individuals to other groups within the congregation, honor that what they have told you is theirs alone to share. They will be vulnerable with others in the faith community when they feel it is appropriate.

4. Continue to be available for questions regarding faith, theology, & doctrine. An ethical mental health therapist should be practicing within the scope of their training in the same way that you are! Even Christian counselors trained in using spirituality in the counseling room will not directly answer questions regarding specific doctrines or theology. They will, of course, allow a client to process his or her own spiritual worldviews, but will not insert the counselor’s personal opinions on the topic.

But you, my friends, literally trained for this moment. And we need you to be able to help a client sort through biblical and religious topics in a more direct way with the training that you have been given to discuss these sometimes-difficult topics.

5. Continue to assess for safety as needed. As you continue to have formal and informal interactions with this individual, be aware of any drastic changes in mood, presentation, and/or social interactions. If necessary, assess for suicidal or depressive thoughts or intent and refer to a professional. To do this well, I suggest being trained in mental health first aid. Part 3 of this series will also cover this topic more specifically. Stay tuned!

6. Be available but not pushy. This person does not have to (nor should they be) telling you all the details of their counseling experience. If they never follow up with specifics about how counseling is going, that is okay! You can continue to provide spiritual counsel without knowing exactly what is happening in their counseling sessions.

7. Remember that some spiritual issues are not just spiritual in nature. This probably goes without saying, but oftentimes a person’s concern can present as spiritual but have underlying issues related to mental and emotional health. Likewise, mental and emotional concerns often contain a spiritual element, especially for people with strong faith. It is important for both mental health professionals and faith leaders alike to view a person holistically when identifying root causes of particular struggles. The following passage from the American Psychiatric Association’s Guide for Faith Leaders does a fabulous job of outlining how to manage this topic if it feels somewhat like a chicken-or-the-egg scenario (APA 2016).

Resist prematurely understanding a complex situation as entirely related to religion or spirituality. When mental health issues are not readily apparent, a faith leader may appropriately decide to offer religious counsel and spiritual guidance. If after 4 to 6 sessions, the issues still persist and the congregant exhibits a sense of hopelessness and undiminished distress or additional areas of life dysfunction, referral to a clinical professional

should be made for further diagnosis, assessment, and treatment with ongoing support from you (page 18).

8. Pray for the heart and soul work that this person is doing. Pray for and with the individual you have referred to counseling. Our revolving door of care services has a common thread of being rooted in the cause of Christ and the safekeeping of His people: their bodies, brains, spirits, and souls. We do not take this work lightly, and we refer to you with assurance that you do not, either.

“In abundance of counselors, there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14

“The Lord GOD has given me the tongue of those who are taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary. Morning by morning he awakens; he awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught”. Isaiah 50:4

9. Take care of yourself, too. You are a necessary fixture in this community and in this world. We need you to feel healthy and sustained to continue to do the work of sharing burdens with the people that you serve.

Galatians 6 has always made me giggle a little bit. Within just a few verses, Paul encourages the Galatians to both “bear one another’s burdens” (verse 6), but also that “each will have to bear his own load” (verse 5). I encourage you to go back and read the first 10 verses of this chapter in context and consider the full idea of Paul’s instructions here.

In my own prayer and reading of these verses, I have come to understand that these passages are both impelling us to take care of one another while also reminding us that we are ultimately responsible to the Lord for our own actions and decisions as to how we utilize our talents for Him. In a way, this feels freeing to me.

Sometimes we serve a person with great love and that person still chooses to seek unhealthy and/ or unrighteous ways of life for himself.

Yet we have often shared the burden as much as we can. The individual’s response is a personal choice that cannot discourage us in our work to keep serving the people of God in the ways that we do.

So let’s keep working and sharing burdens together, friend. I’ll see you in glimpses through the revolving door, cheering both of us on.

References:

American Psychiatric Association Foundation. (2016). Mental health: A guide for faith leaders.

American Psychiatric Association Foundation. (2018). Quick Reference on Mental Health for Faith Leaders. Washington, DC; American Psychiatric Association Foundation.

Bolger, D., & Prickett, P. J. (2021). Where would you go? race, religion, and the limits of Pastor Mental Health Care in Black and Latino congregations. Religions, 12(12), 1062. https://doi.org/10.3390/rel12121062

Church and Mental Health. (n.d.). Retrieved April 1, 2023, from https://churchandmentalhealth.com/

Home. NAMI Central Texas – Providing education, support and advocacy for those affected by mental illness. (n.d.). Retrieved April 1, 2023, from https://namicentraltx.org/faith-communities/

National Guidelines for Behavioral Health Crisis Care – Samhsa. (2012, October 16). Retrieved March 16, 2023, from https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/national-guidelines-for-behavioral-health-crisis-care-02242020.pdf

Smith, J. (2019, July 25). A free mental health guide for faith leaders. Key Ministry. Retrieved March 15, 2023, from https://www.keyministry.org/church4everychild/2019/7/2/a-free-mental-health-guide-for-faith-leaders

Training videos on mental health inclusion. Key Ministry. (n.d.). Retrieved March 15, 2023, from https://www.keyministry.org/training-videos-on-mental-health-inclusion

Social Interest, its Role in Healing

Posted on | by admin
Social Interest, its Role in Healing,
and some geeky history about the counseling field

If you are someone who has ever endured graduate school for a counseling degree, you have been asked the ever-present question about your “theory,” the guiding principles that you have chosen to utilize in your counseling practice.

So what’s your theory? is the opening line of every peer conversation for literal years of a counseling student’s life. It is like the sorting machine for lunch tables of the helping field, but instead of name-brand clothes and extracurricular activities dividing students into groups, it is the interventions deemed most appropriate for depression and varying definitions of healthy functioning. As students, we had better know how to answer this all-important theory question by Thanksgiving of our first year.

Choosing a theory is a badge of first-semester survival and of professional self-appraisal. And let me tell you, those first few years of associating oneself with a theory feels like absolute magic. We wear them as sparkly nametags, almost.

____________________________

Wait, hold up. Stop the presses. This sounds big. Am I supposed to know my counselor’s theory?

Nope. Not at all. Unless you just want to.

Come to find out, few actual clients ever ask us questions about our theory unless they are likewise trained in the helping field, or their therapist friend told them to ask. So usually, after years of delving into research papers and relentlessly defending our choice of theory, we later only end up describing our theoretical background in super plain terms to clients to help them visualize what it will be like to work with us and what we believe about the therapeutic process.

Our counseling theories are mostly for ourselves to better understand how to help you. Plus, we steal content from other theories all the time, because we want the best for you and we are lifelong learners.

_____________________________

For me, the concept of social interest ignited the spark that spurred me toward Adlerian theory, otherwise known as Individual Psychology. Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Sigmund Freud but with very different philosophies about the human experience, believed that social interest was not just something good to exemplify as a personality trait, but an actual marker of mental and emotional health [1].

Don’t worry, there is no test about this later. And I am also not here to tell you that your therapist absolutely must be Adlerian. So put the phone down; there is no need to fire her immediately.

Healing can be reached by working with many types of theoretically diverse, empathetic counselors.

Besides, counselors of many theories believe in the importance of social interest because Adler, an early pioneer of the counseling field, informed many other schools of thought. We Adlerians do not hold the monopoly on the idea of social interest. We just really like the guy who started it.

But I digress. Let’s do some talking about social interest.

What is social interest anyway?

It is inevitable that you are probably connecting this phrase to the idea of social justice. It’s a culturally hot-button term, after all, and not completely unrelated, but still not the exact same thing as social interest.

Social interest is just as it sounds: a desire for the common good, and a sense of “belonging to and participating in” the betterment of your social environment [2]. A person with social interest is able to look outside of themselves; they have empathy and compassion for others and are likely to have a more balanced and healthy perspective of their place in the world.

“One needs to think not what will this person give me? but, rather, what can I give to this person? That is commitment to the community.” – from Adler’s The Courage to Be Disliked

Social interest requires active participation in our communities, and it comes with a ream of benefits such as the following [2,3,5}

  • Social interest can be a protective factor for people who are depressed or suicidal
  • It builds the strength of the community at large
  • It allows someone to feel part of something and experience a sense of belonging
  • It creates social connectedness, which combats loneliness and isolation
  • It reminds individuals to consider the common good and it decreases selfishness
  • It helps to make meaning of the world around us and better understand ourselves

 

Mother Theresa famously said,

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten we belong to each other.”

 

Social interest is about this common belonging we have. It is not the totality of Adler’s work or theory, nor the only marker of mental and emotional health. It is, however, a stark reminder that healing often begins when we climb out of our own darkness to place ourselves in a specifically-shaped hole in our communities that was made just for us. When we can admit that we need others and are likewise needed, breakthroughs can begin.

A couple of other famously-Adlerian terms are feelings of inferiority and discouragement. Ok, so: Adler did not create these words themselves, but he coined their specific use in the context of the counseling world [4]. Someone with feelings of inferiority is struggling to feel fully functional or confident in their daily activities. They are discouraged in their life roles.

Adler believed that social interest, or our connectedness to others, helps decrease feelings of inferiority and discouragement. [4]. It builds us up to feel more fully ourselves and connected to the world around us.

Some of the best news on this topic is that social interest can grow [3, 4]. It is not a static personality trait or something only gifted individuals inherently exhibit. It is a learned way of thinking and being that we can all strive to utilize.

As for Christians, a focus on social interest is a no-brainer. The New Testament is wrought with calls to take care of one another with our individual resources, to live as a supportive community with each other, and to welcome the strangers among us.

After all, Christ Himself “did not come to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many (Mark 10: 45, ESV).

I am reminded of a friend who once shared that her grandmother would often say, If you are sad, go serve someone. While service, manifested from a person’s social interest, is not the singular antidote to feelings of inferiority, it can be a strong starting point for helping someone begin the climb from their darkness.

Each of us has a community whether we are currently participating in it or not. What does increasing your own social interest look like?

Let’s go out there and make Adler proud.

Resources:

1. Alfred Adler history. Adler University. (2021, October 21). Retrieved March 22, 2023, from https://www.adler.edu/alfred-adler-history/

2. Carlson, J., & Englar-Carlson, M. (2017). Introduction. In Adlerian psychotherapy (pp. 3–9). essay, American Psychological Association.

3. Clark, A. J. (2017, September 4). What the world needs more: Social Interest. Psychology Today. Retrieved March 20, 2023, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dawn-memories/201709/what-the-world-needs-more-social-interest#:~:text=Social%20interest%2C%20a%20term%20introduced,Adler%2C%201964%2F1933).

4. Johnson, P., & Smith, A. J. (n.d.). Social Interest and Differentiation of Self. SocialInterestandDifferentiationofSelf.htm. Retrieved March 20, 2023, from https://www.shsu.edu/piic/SocialInterestandDifferentiationofSelf.htm

5. Kent, H. (2021, October 16). Overview of the great psychologist Alfred Adler – Part 2. Hudson Kent. Retrieved March 21, 2023, from https://hudsonkent.com/overview-of-the-great-psychologist-alfred-adler-part-2/