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Can I receive counseling at ChristianWorks if I am not a Christian?

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Can I receive counseling at ChristianWorks if I am not a Christian?

And answers to other frequently-asked faith questions about CounselingWorks!

During the years that I have been associated with ChristianWorks, I have always struggled to describe the agency in any kind of “elevator pitch” style. There is just so much to share! With a constantly-growing number of ministries, staff members, volunteers, and contributors, ChristianWorks is ever-evolving. A quick overview always fails to fully do justice to ChristianWorks as a whole.

However, if my time is limited, I try to make sure people know about the accessible counseling services offered at ChristianWorks through the CounselingWorks ministry.

One of the first things individuals often want to know about CounselingWorks is who is able to access these counseling services. While you can find some quick facts here, allow me to expound on some of our most frequently asked faith-related questions.

1. Can I receive counseling at ChristianWorks if I am not a Christian?
Let’s start off by answering this with a definite YES. Under no circumstances will religious affiliation, or lack thereof, disqualify a person from becoming a counseling client of ChristianWorks for Children.

We recognize that “Christian” is an obvious part of the agency’s name. This is intentional! There is nothing secret or hidden about the core values of ChristianWorks. In fact, when you receive paperwork to fill out as a counseling client, you will be given a copy of the ChristianWorks Statement of Faith that all ChristianWorks employees sign upon being employed here. Our beliefs are freely shared.

However, that does not mean that you as a counseling client must agree with this Statement of Faith, nor does it mean that your counseling experience will be expected to center around discussions of the Christian faith.

Your counseling sessions are your very own. Our counselors of all licenses are trained specifically in respecting the individual views of clients.

Now, if you do want your faith and spirituality to be a central aspect of how your counselor works with you, that is fantastic! We have therapists who are trained to guide you in exploring that sacred part of your identity.

It is also important to note, however, that ChristianWorks’ counselors are not to serve as a replacement for faith leaders.

In my own time working as a counselor for ChristianWorks I worked with many individuals seeking to process their counseling goals through the lens of their spiritual identity.

But that does not mean my role was meant to replace a faith leader, such as a minister, mentor, or pastor in that person’s life.

A well-trained and ethically sound counselor will help a client pursue counseling goals within client-lead conversations about their spirituality. However, a counselor will not give direct advice regarding doctrine or denominational creeds.

Why? Because we believe that you deserve a well-rounded circle of support, including a faith community, peers, family members, and work relationships.

Hopefully, your counselor is encouraging you to seek that well-rounded circle of support. Your faith leaders and peers are part of this community; we do not seek to be stand-in replacements for them, in the same way, we would hope that your minister or mentor does not try to act as your mental health therapist.

If you have direct questions about doctrine or theology, we will sometimes encourage you to reach out to your faith leader or mentor within that part of your community.

2. Does ChristianWorks provide Biblical counseling or Christian counseling?

It is easy to get caught up in the lingo of faith-related counseling. Sometimes individuals (and even counselors, themselves) use these terms interchangeably or in different contexts than their peers. So let’s discuss these terms first!

Biblical counseling uses only Biblical scripture as guidance. It is a beautiful relationship between two Christ-followers in discipleship, seeking truth from the gospel. Biblical counselors usually do not discuss tenets of modern psychology in their practices and do not typically hold degrees or licenses in mental health counseling.

The Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC) states that it “exists to equip you to minister the Bible faithfully to those all around you who are in need of God’s truth” [1].

ACBC certifies Christians to counsel others specifically in a discipleship manner. These individuals are vital aspects of many churches and organizations who minister to others but are not necessarily trained in mental health services.

Christian counseling integrates Biblical truth alongside certain theories and tenets of psychology. Christian counselors are most likely trained in mental health counseling and are practicing, trained therapists who hold state licenses.

That being said, I generally encourage individuals to confirm for themselves that their counselors hold degrees and licenses in mental health services prior to entering into counseling relationships.

Note: All of CounselingWorks counselors are licensed in the state of Texas to offer mental health services.

One of my personal favorite resources is a book called Integrative Psychotherapy toward a Comprehensive Christian Approach. The writers explain the work of integrative psychotherapists (Christian counselors) as such:

“Integrationists believe that some sort of reciprocal interaction between faith and psychology is the best way to gain a comprehensive understanding of personality and counseling. This is not to say that psychology carries the same authority as the Christian faith, but that understanding and wisdom can be discovered in both” [2].

Ok so what about CounselingWorks, then?

CounselingWorks, while described as a Christian counseling center, does not work only with individuals of the Christian faith.

Many of our clinicians have specific training in helping clients integrate their spiritual worldviews into their counseling goals, but they do not offer direct advice on Christian doctrine or theology, and are also open to working with clients of any background.

You could more accurately describe CounselingWorks’ team as “a group of licensed clinicians who are Christians.” In the same way an engineer, a teacher, or an accountant operates in his or her occupation as a believer in Christ, so do we in ours.

When you are ready to do your taxes you may not specifically seek out a “Christian accountant,” but in working with him you may easily notice the manifestation of the fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.

Our goal as clinicians at CounselingWorks is to do the same. We are willing and able to process your faith journey with you in light of your counseling goals. But unless that is something that you are open to doing, we simply operate as people of the Spirit in all that we do. Our prayer is that every client experiences the fruits of the Spirit exude from us, regardless of whether that client is specifically seeking Christian counseling.

As Rob Pine, our Chief Advancement Officer and former CEO likes to say, “when you meet with our therapists, the Spirit is in the room too.”

3. Can I choose a counselor from a certain faith tradition or denomination?

Our ChristianWorks counselors and staff members are Bible-believing, practicing Christians from a variety of denominations, all of whom have signed and committed to the practice of our Statement of Faith. We encourage you to read this Statement of Faith. Often this will already answer your questions about what your counselor may believe!

We do understand that clients sometimes find it important that their counselor shares and respects their specific Christian worldview as it relates to their counseling journey.

However, out of respect for our counselor’s autonomy to self-disclose their faith practices at their own discretion, we encourage you to pursue this question with your counselor during session.

We also invite you to remember that our counselors integrate tenets of psychology within a Christian worldview, and are not meant to give direct advice about doctrine or theology. Our sessions are not meant to be a replacement for Bible study or a discipleship relationship.

If you are seeking more of a Biblical counseling approach, we encourage you to reach out to your faith leader or visit

https://biblicalcounseling.com/find-a-counselor/

If you would like to have a 10 to 15 minute consult with a therapist to determine if he or she is the right fit, feel free to talk to our CounselingWorks intake team.

References:

1. Association of Certified Biblical Counselors. (n.d.). Retrieved January 10, 2023, from https://biblicalcounseling.com/

2. McMinn, M. R., & Campbell, C. D. (2007). Integrative psychotherapy toward a comprehensive Christian approach. IVP Academic.

What is Open Adoption?

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What is Open Adoption?

For many people who have not been directly touched by adoption, this article may seem like a foreign concept filled with words borrowed from a language you did not know existed. Adoption, after all, is something we usually observe from a distance or on television, with limited understanding of what someone who has lived out an adoption story may experience.

If you are someone that falls into this category, I appreciate your willingness to dip your toe into the waters of learning some adoption terms and concepts.

Honestly, we are all constantly learning about adoption: Whether we are adoption professionals, triad members,* or the people who love them. See below for a definition of an adoption triad.

To understand the world of adoption one must first recognize that adoption stories are unique; they are contrastingly beautiful and painful, wholesome and gut-wrenching. Most adoption stories are all of these things at once.

But the best we can do is to learn what information we can from a posture of humility.

As professionals, we commit to making discerning choices about adoption policy and procedures according to the most recent research available. And, we listen: to adoptees, adoptive families, and birth families. We learn from the past and we seek to use integrity in our work with each client of adoption.

So whatever brought you to this page to learn a little about open adoption, I hope that you keep these ideas at top of your mind and join us in the pursuit of learning about adoption as a whole.

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A quick definition of open adoption:

Open adoption, also known as modern adoption, is currently the most widely accepted type of adoption in the United States. It refers to an adoption in which a birth mother or birth parents have specifically chosen the family that will be adopting the child and have an opportunity for communication and relationship with the adoptive family and adoptee throughout the course of his or her life.

As of 2012, approximately 95% of adoptions that occur were considered “open” [6]. It can be assumed that this percentage is even higher today, a full decade after this study was completed.

Yet, this wide acceptance of open adoption was not always the case. Closed adoption, as described below, was the norm for most of the 20th century. But a shift began to occur in the social work and adoption field as many professionals began to question the previously-standard procedures of keeping legal lock and key on adoptees’ birth and medical histories. By the mid-1990’s these professional practices became commonplace, and open adoption took its place as the new standard of adoption care.

Open adoption vs. Closed adoption

Closed adoptions do not allow for any future communication. No information is exchanged between parties. Records are sealed, and even the adoptees themselves are barred from viewing their own records without going through a court of law. The birth family most likely did not have any choice in deciding the family with whom their child would be placed.

Open adoption, on the other hand, begins with an expectant mother being empowered to choose the family with whom she will place her child for adoption. She is encouraged to meet with them, ask questions, and be an active participant in the adoption process.

Open adoption allows for future contact and building of relationships between birth and adoptive families.

Openness allows for agency support throughout the lifetime.

Open adoption allows adoptees to have a direct connection to their birth, family, and medical histories.

Note: AdoptionWorks only facilitates OPEN adoptions. Even if a birth mother chooses to currently have no interaction with her child or the adoptive parents, her disclosure of medical history and her ability to choose the family for her child deems the adoption “open.” Also, in an open adoption, she can seek communication or receive updates from the family in the future if she decides she would like to pursue a relationship with them.

Open adoption is on a continuum.

For some, the idea of an open adoption can be scary. But it is important to remember that openness is on a continuum! Just like with any other relationship, it can develop and change over time. Not only are boundaries acceptable, but they are greatly encouraged.

Adoption professionals encourage birth parents and adoptive parents alike to have honest conversations about their comfortability with levels of openness. Some families choose to begin the relationship completely mediated by the agency, sending photos and updates through case workers. Some families communicate independently of the agency, see each other multiple times a year, and are invited to family events.

Each adoption triad has unique dynamics, and each member of that triad has unique needs within that dynamic that informs levels of openness.

Levels of openness can change over time. We expect openness to look differently at 3 months than it does at 3 years or 33 years. Changes in levels of openness can occur throughout different seasons of life and stages of development. This is normal and expected. A good adoption agency will be present to help you navigate these changes as you go.

Most importantly, open adoption relationships are built on mutual trust and respect. When an adoption takes place, the birth family and adoptive family often create an open adoption agreement, which is simply a summary of the agreed-upon expectations for communication and relationship-building moving forward. The open adoption agreement is not a legally binding agreement, but a document that can remind both parties of the importance of maintaining a connection to each other to the best of one another’s abilities.

Open adoption is an opportunity for empowerment across the entire triad:

Research on this topic overwhelmingly suggests that openness benefits the entire triad [2, 3, 4, 5].

This does not mean that experiences are emotionally pain-free or perfect in nature. Adoption, after all, begins with the experience of loss when a child and mother are separated.

But it does mean that professionals and researchers have largely determined that a choice to pursue openness brings more benefits than not.

For the birth family: In open adoption, A birth mother is empowered to make active decisions in the adoption process, including choosing the family with whom she would like to place her child. Ashley Mitchell, birth mother and advocate for birth mothers worldwide is a good resource to learn more about the birth family perspective. You can find her @bigtoughgirl on Instagram or at https://lifetimehealingfoundation.org/

For adoptees: An adoptee is able to have connection with his or her history and birth story in an open adoption. He or she always knows the truth about who they are and how much they were loved by the people who brought them into the world. There are many adoptee accounts to follow, but a favorite of ours at AdoptionWorks is @throughadoptedeyes

For adoptive parents: In an open adoption, adoptive parents are able to have access to their child’s medical and family history, be able to help their child with difficult questions that come with being an adoptee, and create lasting relationships with their child’s biological family.

Open adoption is not co-parenting.

Once a mother has relinquished her rights to parent her child, she does not have the capability to determine the details of how that child is parented. The adoptive parents are the legal parents of the child once the adoption has been finalized. This is why we find it so important that an expectant mother is fully aware of her decision to make an adoption plan prior to relinquishment! This is a serious and irrevocable choice that we pray she does not take lightly.

Open adoption allows for beautiful opportunities for relationship but does not encroach on the legal parental rights of adoptive parents.

*Definitions to know:
  • Adoption Triad: the triangular representation of an adoptee’s relationship to his or her birth and adoptive family, with the adoptee at the top and the birth and adoptive families as the bottom foundational corners. Together, all three parties make up a triad.

  • Birth Mother: A mother who has placed a child for adoption and relinquished legal rights to parent that child.
  • Expectant Mother: A woman who is pregnant. Even if she is currently making an adoption plan, she is never called a birth mother until she has relinquished her parental rights. This distinction is made to honor a mother’s agency to choose to parent her child at any point prior to signing relinquishment.
  • Birth Family: Other biological family members of an adoptee
  • Adoptive Family: A couple or family who has legally adopted a child.
References:

1. 10 things that scientific research says about open adoption. American Adoptions Blog. (2017, August 4). Retrieved January 21, 2023, from https://www.americanadoptions.com/blog/10-things-that-scientific-research-says-about-open-adoption/

2. Berry, M., Dylla, D. J. C., Barth, R. P., & Needell, B. (1998). The role of open adoption in the adjustment of adopted children and their families. Children and Youth Services Review, 20(1-2), 151–171. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0190-7409(97)00071-6

3. Editor. (2021, December 9). Open adoption: Advantages and benefits. American Pregnancy Association. Retrieved January 20, 2023, from https://americanpregnancy.org/child-adoption/open-adoption-advantages/#:~:text=for%20an%20adopted%20child%2c%20some%20possible%20advantages%20of,the%20adopted%20child%e2%80%99s%20sense%20of%20abandonment.%20more%20items

4. Ge, X., Natsuaki, M. N., Martin, D. M., Leve, L. D., Neiderhiser, J. M., Shaw, D. S., Villareal, G., Scaramella, L., Reid, J. B., & Reiss, D. (2008, August). Bridging the divide: Openness in adoption and postadoption psychosocial adjustment among birth and adoptive parents. Journal of family psychology: JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43). Retrieved January 21, 2023, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2638763/

5. Grotevant, H. D. (2019). Open adoption: Rethinking family. Open Adoption: Rethinking Family. Retrieved January 21, 2023, from https://www.umass.edu/ruddchair/sites/default/files/rudd.grotevant.pdf

6. Siegel, D. H., & Smith, S. L. (2012, March). Openness in adoption. Openness in Adoption From Secrecy and Stigma to Knowledge and Connections. Retrieved January 23, 2023, from https://www.adoptioninstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/2012_03_OpennessInAdoption.pdf

7. Study shows rise in ‘open’ infant adoptions, with only 5% now completely ‘closed’ new report cites benefits of – and need for more knowledge about – these extended families. The Donaldson Adoption Institute. (2012, March 21). Retrieved January 21, 2023, from https://www.adoptioninstitute.org/dai-press/study-shows-rise-in-open-infant-adoptions-with-only-5-now-completely-closed-new-report-cites-benefits-of-and-need-for-more-knowledge-about-these-extended-families/

Is Love Really Enough?

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Is Love Really Enough?

Let’s talk Pre-engagement Counseling

My husband’s uncle conducted our outdoor wedding ceremony on a quite-chilly November afternoon. I will be honest, I only heard about half of the words he said that day at the altar; I am not sure if I was shivering more from the weather or from the nerves and adrenaline. But I definitely remember the words he and his wife spoke to us over the weeks leading up to our wedding, as they met with us to talk about what not just our wedding day, but our marriage, would look like.

There were two topics that stuck with me the most in those meetings with them.

One, what is the theme of your marriage? Our wedding theme was fun to chat about, believe me, but our marriage theme was of greater importance. What did we want the world to know about who we are (and in our case, who our Lord is), from witnessing our marriage in day-to-day life?

Second, words that you vow to each other are words that matter. Whether you write your own vows or you do not, you should know what those words really mean and what you are promising. The altar should not be the first time you hear or read them. Think to yourself: are these vows ones that you can reasonably keep?

My husband and I were incredibly grateful to have multiple seasoned couples in our lives, not just his aunt and uncle, who took the time to slow us down and help us process what marriage meant for us.

But this experience is not the norm, and we easily could have missed out on this amazing gift of time to “plan our marriage before our wedding” (a phrase famously and consistently used by Gary Chapman, author of the Five Love Languages). My only regret is that we did not have many of these conversations sooner.

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A growing number of couples’ professionals are advocating for what is called pre-engagement counseling. Think: premarital counseling with less pressure and fewer deadlines.

After all, there are no two people more antsy and eager than a couple navigating the in-between season of “seriously dating” and “engaged.” This couple has most likely been dating for a while, and the taking-you-home-to-meet-my-mama mile marker has been successfully surpassed. They are ready for more serious conversations about their futures.

But unfortunately, once that coveted ring appears, time jumps to warp speed and the couple now feels completely tethered to the burgeoning plans for this surreal and fleeting fairytale moment they’ve set for the future. It consumes much of their time, energy, and mental space.

During the engagement phase, couples are much less likely to pause and seriously consider the details of what day-to-day life together will actually look like.

A Focus on the Family article on pre-engagement indicates that “we’ve found that couples who are already engaged are far less inclined to take an in-depth, honest look at their relationship” [10].

After all, deposits have been made on cakes and venues, and Save-the-Dates sent to family and friends. Once couples have announced their engagement, the focus quickly moves toward wedding preparation instead of marriage preparation.

Thus, I present to you a case for pre-engagement counseling in lieu (or at least as a precursor to) premarital counseling.

Elizabeth Busby, a Dallas-based marriage and family therapist who specializes in pre-engagement counseling, shares that pre-engagement counseling

can help couples feel more confident in their discernment of a spouse, it can help them be better prepared for marriage, and it can allow them the flexibility to use their engagement to plan their wedding while also diving deeper into more intimate topics of discussion beyond the basics of traditional marriage prep. [1]

The call for this type of counseling has, in my opinion, never been more important. As the average age for marriage continues to rise (which is currently 28 years old for females and 30 for males) [13], people are spending more years solidifying their individualistic views and modes of operating in daily life as a single person. While there are generally positive aspects to this, such as maturity and better financial standing prior to marriage, it also means that couples are entering into marriage with their adulthood habits and worldviews more firmly concreted.

This requires some honest and open conversations prior to entering into the covenant of marriage.

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Let’s put this all into perspective.

In 2021, the average couple in the United States spent between $28,000-$34,000 on their weddings and were engaged for about 14 months [8]. It is no secret that the wedding industry is booming.

But despite all these resources being funneled into the vision of a perfect day, few couples stop to consider what resources are being invested into their lifelong marriage.

Even though research reflects that premarital counseling is a predictor of “lower divorce rates, lower relationship conflict, and higher quality in [your] relationship” [2,7], it remains to be an investment that only a minority of couples choose to make.

An iconic study from 2003 identifies a 30% rate of higher marital satisfaction in couples that completed premarital counseling [3]. It also claims that 92% of couples who utilized premarital counseling found it helpful [3].

So where is the disconnect?

My theory is that many couples “don’t know what they don’t know,” and assume that counseling is primarily for couples with actively hostile relationships. If couples seem compatible and things are going well prior to engagement or marriage, counseling is not necessarily something top-of-mind. Counseling is for other people, they assume.

But what if my relationship is already top-notch?

Couples can appear incredibly compatible in most areas of life, but maybe have not discussed topics such as personal finances and debt, managing in-law relationships, parenting styles, or simply how to share household chores.

These are just a few of the topics that a trained pre-engagement or pre-marital counselor can help couples discuss.

Maybe you are not even sure where to begin or what topics to focus on. No problem. Your counselor can help you there, too, using a variety of assessments or simple questionnaires to tailor your experience to your individual relationship.

And the good news is, this type of counseling is beneficial for any couple. Maybe you wish you’d had the experience of pre-engagement counseling.

You do not have to wait for heated disagreements to arise in your marriage to seek out counseling. These are sessions that you can seek out at any time to simply build strengths-based approaches to nurturing a healthy marriage or relationship.

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For someone who has never attended a counseling session (or even for someone who has), pre-engagement counseling can be daunting. Here are some facts and quick things to expect.

 

A few things to consider if you have never been in couples therapy before:

– Finding a therapist who specializes in couples, pre-engagement, or premarital counseling is ideal. Many of these therapists utilize specific assessments such as Prepare-Enrich [11] and are trained in guiding couples using specialized data. They can target discussions toward your individualized needs.

– A couple’s therapist views the relationship as his or her primary client and should not have biases toward either party in the relationship. Due to this, I would not suggest asking one of your individual therapists to also act as your couple’s therapist. That could get sticky for everyone involved.

– Sometimes concerns arise that may need to be addressed with individual therapists, outside of couples’ counseling. This may be something such as a traumatic experience or a substance use problem. If an issue is greatly taxing on a relationship or distracting the couple from focusing on their relationship goals, a counselor may suggest that one or both of the people in the relationship see an individual counselor concurrently. Or, the therapist may suggest that the couple see individual therapists prior to continuing in couples’ counseling. While this may feel frustrating at first, the intention is to make sure both parties are in an appropriate place to focus on building relationship skills.

– Pre-engagement counseling is probably more skills-based and educational than a regular individual counseling session you may have experienced in the past.

 

Topics that may be covered in pre-engagement or pre-marital counseling:
  • Finances and money-management
  • Homeownership
  • Career goals
  • Expectations related to sex and intimacy
  • Conflict Resolution
  • Household roles and chores
  • Parenting styles, thoughts about having children
  • How families-of-origin handled conflict, holidays, vacations, etc. (How will your marriage be similar or different?)
  • Communication styles and skills
  • Problem-Solving
How can pre-engagement counseling help? It provides…
  • Open space for answering logistical questions about marriage
  • Safe Space for resolving conflicts and broaching difficult or “awkward” topics
  • Collaborative space for discussing marriage goals and general expectations
  • “The luxury of time” to explore the decision of marriage before making formal wedding plans [1].
References:

1. Busby, E. (n.d.). Pre-engagement. Discerning Marriage. Retrieved January 6, 2023, from https://www.discerningmarriage.com/

2. Carlson, R. G., Daire, A. P., Munyon, M. D., & Young, M. E. (2012). A comparison of cohabiting and noncohabiting couples who participated in premarital counseling using the prepare model. The Family Journal, 20(2), 123–130. https://doi.org/10.1177/1066480712441588

3. Carroll, J. S., & Doherty, W. J. (2003). Evaluating the effectiveness of premarital prevention programs: A meta-analytic review of outcome research. Family Relations, 52(2), 105–118. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2003.00105.x

4. Clyde, T. L., Wikle, J. S., Hawkins, A. J., & James, S. L. (2020). The effects of premarital education promotion policies on U.S. divorce rates. Psychology, Public Policy, and Law, 26(1), 105–120. https://doi.org/10.1037/law0000218

5. Engagement: Lessons & tips for a successful engagement. Regain. (2022, December 22). Retrieved January 8, 2023, from https://www.regain.us/advice/engagement/

6. Horowitz, J. M., Livingston, G., & Graf, N. (2019, November 6). Marriage and cohabitation in the U.S. Pew Research Center’s Social & Demographic Trends Project. Retrieved January 6, 2023, from https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s/%C2%A0

7. Jessen, B. (2021, March 22). Is premarital counseling worth it? College of Health and Human Sciences. Retrieved January 6, 2023, from https://chhs.source.colostate.edu/is-premarital-counseling-worth-it/%C2%A0

8. The Knot Research & Insights Team. (2022, February 15). The knot 2021 real weddings study is here. theknot.com. Retrieved January 6, 2023, from https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-data-insights/real-weddings-study

9. Pace, R. (2022, September 4). What you need to know about pre-engagement counseling. Marriage Advice – Expert Marriage Tips & Advice. Retrieved January 8, 2023, from https://www.marriage.com/advice/pre-marriage/pre-engagement-counseling/#Why_pre-engagement_counseling_is_better_than_pre-marital_counseling

10. Pre-engagement counseling. Focus on the Family. (2010). Retrieved January 7, 2023, from https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-qa/pre-engagement-counseling/

11. Prepare/Enrich. (2021, April 1). Retrieved January 6, 2023, from https://www.prepare-enrich.com/%C2%A0

12. ReGain. (2022, December 29). What are the best pre-marriage counseling books? ReGain. Retrieved January 8, 2023, from https://www.regain.us/advice/engagement/what-are-the-best-pre-marriage-counseling-books/

13. Reports: National marriage project. The National Mariage Project. (n.d.). Retrieved January 6, 2023, from http://nationalmarriageproject.org/reports/%C2%A0

14. Richer, L. (2021, August 16). 33 premarital counseling questions (from a couples therapist) – anchor light therapy. Anchor Light Therapy Collective. Retrieved January 6, 2023, from https://anchorlighttherapy.com/33-premarital-counseling-questions-from-a-couples-therapist/

15. Stone, L., & Wilcox, B. (n.d.). The religious marriage paradox: Younger marriage, less divorce. Institute for Family Studies. Retrieved January 7, 2023, from https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-religious-marriage-paradox-younger-marriage-less-divorce

16. Thomas, G. (2005, January 1). Searching for a ‘sole’ mate. Focus on the Family. Retrieved January 6, 2023, from https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/searching-for-a-sole-mate/