As a mom to a spirited second grader and a bonus mom to both a high schooler and a college student, I’ve experienced the whirlwind of emotions and chaos that accompany each stage of parenting. Juggling school events, sports practices, part-time jobs, church activities, and everything else life throws at us can make it seem impossible to find quality time to spend with your kids. However, being intentional with that time is essential in fostering a strong, lasting bond with them.
One of the most sobering realizations I’ve had is that we only have about 936 weekends from birth until our children graduate high school. That’s it. Those weekends are our opportunities to create lasting memories, impart values, and strengthen our relationships with our kids. It’s a reminder of just how precious and fleeting our time with them truly is. Let’s dive into some tips on how to make the most of your time with your kids, no matter what stage of parenthood you’re in.
Tips for Being Intentional with Your Time
1. Prioritize Quality Over Quantity
Life is busy, and you won’t always have hours to spend with your kids every day. What matters more is the quality of the time you do have together. Be present in the moment and give your full attention to your child, whether you have 5 minutes or 5 hours.
Ideas:
- Morning routines: Spend a few extra minutes having breakfast together or sharing a morning chat. One of my favorite activities my second grader and I do together is to create a school ride playlist. As we head to school for morning drop off, we blast tunes that we sing together at the top of our lungs to get us in a fun and positive mood to start the day. This is easily one of my favorite memories that we create daily on our drive to school.
- Bedtime stories: Reading to your child at night can be a comforting routine that fosters closeness.
2. Create Family Traditions
Traditions give your family something to look forward to and can create lasting memories. They don’t have to be extravagant or expensive, just meaningful.
Ideas:
- Weekly movie night: Pick a day of the week to watch a movie together, complete with popcorn and cozy blankets.
- Seasonal traditions: Visit a pumpkin patch in the fall, go sledding in the winter, have a spring picnic, or hit the beach in the summer. One of our favorite seasonal traditions is on Christmas morning. We break out our waffle iron, chop up fruits of all kinds, and make up a large batch of waffles. But not just any waffles, we add a touch of green food coloring and break the oversized waffles into quarterly triangles to make a Christmas tree. Topped with mini colorful M & M’s, various fruits, and a sprinkling of powdered sugar. We laugh and bond over everyone’s trees and enjoy time together around the table.
3. Embrace Everyday Moments
Not every bonding moment needs to be a planned activity. Find joy and connection in the small, everyday things.
Ideas:
- Cooking together: Involve your kids in preparing meals. It’s a great opportunity to teach them life skills while having fun.
- Gardening: Whether it’s a few potted plants or a backyard garden, gardening can be a relaxing and educational way to spend time together.
4. Encourage Open Communication
Communication is key to maintaining a strong bond with your kids. Encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings with you, and make sure you do the same.
Ideas:
- Dinner table talks: Use dinnertime as an opportunity to talk about your day and discuss any concerns or exciting news.
- Car rides: Use the time driving to and from activities to check in with your kids. Car rides are a great opportunity to talk about important and some times awkward conversations because you have a captive audience, there is no awkward “what do I look at?”, and it has a definite start and end. Then if you need to talk through it more, you can later on. But you’ve already broken the ice with the topic.
5. Make Time for One-on-One Interactions
Each child is unique and needs individual attention. Make time to connect with each of your kids one-on-one.
Ideas:
- Special outings: Take each child out for a special day doing an activity they love. Or even just to dinner at their favorite restaurant.
- Heart-to-heart chats: Spend a few minutes each day or week having a private, personal conversation with each child. Stay up-to-date on their interest and current passions.
Connecting Without Breaking the Bank
You don’t need to spend a lot of money to connect with your kids. Here are some cost-effective ways to spend quality time together:
Outdoor Adventures
- Go for a hike: Explore local trails and enjoy the beauty of nature.
- Visit a park: Spend an afternoon at a nearby park, playing on the playground, or having a picnic.
Creative Endeavors
- Arts and crafts: Set up a crafting station at home with basic supplies like paper, crayons, and glue.
- DIY projects: Work on a simple home improvement or decoration project together.
Game Nights
- Board games: Dust off your old board games and spend an evening playing together.
- Card games: Teach your kids some classic card games like Go Fish or Crazy Eights.
The Importance of Bonding Through Each Stage
As your kids grow, their needs and interests will change. It’s important to adapt and find new ways to connect with them at each stage of life.
Toddlerhood
During the toddler years, your child is curious and eager to learn. This is the perfect time to introduce them to new experiences and help them develop their sense of wonder.
- Explore together: Visit zoos, aquariums, or museums to spark their curiosity.
- Read together: Introduce them to a variety of books to expand their imagination.
Elementary School Years
As kids enter school, they begin to develop their own personalities and interests. It’s important to support their passions and encourage their growth.
- Attend school events: Be present at school plays, sports games, and parent-teacher conferences.
- Help with homework: Show interest in their studies and assist when needed.
Teenage Years
The teenage years can be challenging, but they are also an important time for strengthening your relationship with your child. Show them that you trust and support them.
- Respect their independence: Give them space to grow while still being available for guidance.
- Participate in their interests: Attend their sporting events, concerts, or other activities they are passionate about.
College and Beyond
Even when your child moves away for college or starts their career, your bond doesn’t have to weaken. Continue to find ways to stay connected and involved in their lives.
- Stay in touch: Schedule regular phone calls or video chats to catch up. One of the things we do for our son while he is away at college, is we send him a custom encouragement card each month. Sometimes we include gift cards to local restaurants or stores to buy household essentials. Our goal is to remind him that he is loved, missed, and how proud we are of him.
- Visit them: Plan visits when possible, or invite them home for holidays and special occasions. Outside of special events and holidays, we have family dinner night each Sunday evening. When our college kiddo is in town, the door is always open.
Conclusion:
As parents, our time with our children is a precious and limited resource. By being intentional and present, we can make the most of every moment, creating a lifetime of cherished memories. Remember, it’s not about the grand gestures or expensive outings, but the love, support, and connection we share with our kids that truly matters. Let’s embrace each stage of parenthood with open hearts and a commitment to making every moment count. Here’s to another school year filled with growth, joy, and love!
